#9 997 Wash your car

No, don't HAVE your car washed, get a bucket and wash your own damn car. Just once. It's hard work, but it's so damn rewarding, you'll be basking in the joy of being human for weeks after. Next time you have your car washed, you'll appreciate the spoil that much more and appreciate the human who actually took the time to scrub bird poop off your windshield.